So Long, Not Forgotten

 Assalamualaikum and hello readers!

It's been a hell of a ride. I was hit with a pool of emotions. It was fun. I don't know why every time I feel sad, I feel like writing it all up here. I've been good, been bad too, but most of all, I've been silent. I guess it's just who I am. The purpose of this post, and other previous and incoming posts, is for my future self to see, how was life back then. It is my story, not others to tell. Although I feel sad often, but I find that I don't really talk about my feelings, you know. Just suppressed everything inside, till it dissolves I guess? Or perhaps, explode.

We are all afraid of what's coming next. Yes, we could say we are excited to know what's next, but we shouldn't lie when the emotions was mingled, we do feel afraid. Right now, I don't know, I just feel like wanna throw out words. Ever since primary school, I've been given this 'gift' that I don't know I want it anymore. I couldn't unplug this gift from myself. But, let that story rest first.

Funny how time flies and within a short period of time, we could change to become a person that we never expected to be. One advice that I would tell others is, don't hold yourself. When in a moment you felt like you wanna shout, just do it. When you feel like you wanna laugh, laugh. And, when you feel like you should search for beyond the information you have now, go do it. DO NOT HOLD BACK. Life is just too short to "save for the future". How sure are you that you'll live tomorrow? Or how sure are you that your significant one will be alive tomorrow? Just go do it. Call your parents, study behind your friend, do assignment alone, singing out loud, driving during midnight, telling one your actual feeling, or even baking! Just do it!

Up till this point of this post, I still haven't stated yet on the main thing that I wanna express here. I was about to just keep it inside, but ironically, I just advised people to not holding back. So here goes.. I'm exhausted. Yes, Semester 6 is done, but I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted, socially. I don't like being in a group, I don't like to talk when I don't actually feel like talking, I don't like to get up and sit at living room just to have the "fake-socialize-and-laugh-at-pathetic-not-funny-joke". That is just not me. But guess what? I had to force myself to be in par with the vibe set there, which is very very very tiring. I would appreciate and prefer to have 2 or 3 people to talk with only. I AM OBSERVANT. I do notice everything, and trust me, if in a group of three, I hella distribute my focus to be damn fair to each of us. I miss my Diploma time. But yeah, life goes on. I must continue my steps.

I guess, we'll appreciate the moment once it's gone huh? Adik-adik, cherish every moments that you have now. Life is too short to hate people, explain yourself. And if they judged you and distant themselves, well that's their lost. Set a damn high standard for yourself. You are human too! Your presence is not to just please others? You deserve better. It was tiring to sit behind the transparent curtain, hiding invisibly, and choosing not to talk when all you wanna do is scream the hell out from your chest. Well, Degree's life is ending soon. One more year and that's it. I'll change to the new me. 

Anyway, quick update. Just finished my Final Assessments for Semester 6. It was arghhh and phewww. But honestly, I did quite good this time. Cuma tulah, I figured that this sem cannot score 4 flat lagi dah, sebab koko (Tulisan Jawi) dah tahu markah hahaha. Dapat A-, so memang idok lerr nak dapat 4 flat. Last semester Alhamdulillah 4 flat. Nak maintain CGPA je my goal sekarang, demi mendapatkan pengecualian bayaran pitipitiyen. I know the uncertainty right now has affected millions of people, so please take care and love yourself. Remember, it's okay to scream and let it all out from your chest. Don't hold back. Till we meet again.

.fad